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Tips from a psychologist for a happy life
Tips from a psychologist to live happily and never get depressed
Each of us in our lives at least several times met with statements:"After the marriage, my woman has changed a lot, she cannot be recognized," "my husband was so romantic when we met, and now there is not a trace of romance," "our life has become overwhelmed with everydayness"and similar to them.
As a rule, young people in the period of a romantic relationship before the wedding do not notice these things, but already in the life together, after some time has passed and certain circumstances change, they begin to notice it.
In today's article we will talk about the moments in whichyou need to be especially careful in order to preserve and develop your relationship.
FIRST YEAR CRISIS
This is the most obvious and predictable crisis.During the first year there is an addiction to your second half. You start to solve your household, financial residential and other issues together. During this period, more quarrels and disputes arise from seemingly trifles. Starting from a mismatch of sleep and rest, ending with commonplace households - washing dishes, cleaning, throwing out garbage, etc.
You will have to adapt to your partner in everyday life.She is a morning person and likes to get up in the morning, and you are an owl, you work late and you like to sleep in the morning. You like to spend your free time at home or in nature, she loves noisy parties. You are trying to make more money for the family and therefore you stay up late, she is jealous of you.
How to solve this crisis
If you really love your soul mate, thenproblem solving - in the search for a compromise.If she likes to get up early, then you can not do it very noisy, so you can sleep. If you don’t like parties, you don’t have to go to them, but it’s not so difficult to make a company to your wife once a month at a party. And never install ultimatums.Because reluctance to give in and resentment in the heart destroys relationships. And you want to live long and together.
CRISIS THREE YEARS
This is one of the crucial periods in the life of spouses. It should be noted that the largest percentage falls on the first three years of joint marital life. So why exactly the first three years?
The fact is that love lasts, on average, from one to three years. Think of yourself as you idealized your love during your first dates. Further, over time, you gradually descend to the ground and begin to notice shortcomings in your partner.. If you are ready to put up and go for joint concessions - this is the ideal solution to the situation.When young people do not want to give up the relationship fall forever.
THE CRISIS OF THE BIRTH OF THE FIRST CHILD
A woman in the period of pregnancy is the real test. First, the pregnancy lasts a long time - 9 months. During them, a woman suffers not only physical inconvenience and overload. Her hormonal background also changes, and she can cry and laugh at the same time, be very moody and often nervous. At this time, a person experiences a whole storm of emotions.. A woman is often naughty and devotes a lot of time to an unborn child, therefore attention to her husband decreases. After the birth of the child and the very center of the woman’s life becomes - the child and the man feel abandoned. Men often immerse themselves in work to compensate for the attention deficit, and women begin to suspect them of adultery.
How to get out of the situation
You should not forget that the first child for a woman is a very big stress, try to support her in every way, despite the whims of the woman. A woman after the birth of a child also should not forget about the existence of her husband and pay attention to him. Leave your husband with your child, go for a walk together.Spend time together - it will deepen and strengthen your relationship.. If you can not cope with the problems in the relationship, you can contact a psychotherapist.
CRISIS OF MONOTONY
As a rule, this crisis occurs in the 8-10 year of marriage. During this time you have time to have a baby. You may even have several children. You have a stable job. Children grow up, go to school.You have daily routine questions for which you lose the taste of relationships. Have you already forgotten when you last went to a restaurant for dinner or when a young man gave flowers last time?
It is clear that for such a long period of living together you managed to study each other very well. You already know everything about your half, and your life together goes according to plan. Bring surprises into your life. Buy a woman a bouquet of flowers, go to a restaurant, a movie. Go rest on your wedding anniversary. It should be noted thatthe value of the gift is not as important as the emotions that were invested in it. Make sincere gifts and that you will certainly bring joy to your man or woman.