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How to choose a baby name
Choosing the name of my future child, I studied this topic with interest, becausename affects the fate of both directly and indirectly. As a result, I have built a whole system that will help parents avoid some mistakes and not spoil the fate of their child.
What is their name and what is called
The first thing that in my opinion must be considered when choosing a name is its everyday form, which everyone will use. A beautiful name on the passport will be called only in official and business communication, and in everyday life he or she will be called a diminutive household form and very often it is very different from the full name.
For example, the name Edward (in the life of Edik), Angelina (in the life of Gel), Arseny (in the life of Senya), Hermann (in the life of Hera), etc. This is really important, because self-assessment and a person’s perception of himself will depend on it and cause a strong dissonance between his name and his name.
The projection of another's fate
The second important point I want to highlight a serious mistake when the child is named after someone, thereby imposing on him a projection of someone else's fate.Moreover, it does not matter here, in honor of whom you give him a name, in honor of King Arthur or Ivan's great-grandfather, it’s important that along with this you enter information about the fate of this person in the information field of your child.
Even if this person was very successful and famous for his activities, or it is a family member whose memory you would like to preserve and continue in your children, it’s not necessary to name them after him. Because, apart from the public, “front” part of the personality, he could have many bad qualities that you don’t even know which ones your child will inherit, along with the information that this name carries, is not known to anyone.
I will give you an example from the life of my friends. They named their eldest son Ernest, in honor of Ernest Hemingway, expecting that he would have the talent of a writer and he would also become famous throughout the world. But apart from the fact that Hemingway was a Nobel Prize winner, he was an alcoholic with pronounced paranoia, which later brought him to suicide, he also had peiraphobia (fear of public speaking).
Choosing a name, they read the biography and knew all these facts, but for some reason they decided that only the best qualities should appear in their child.As a result, they grew up very closed, alienated boy, prone to social phobia. He is really interested in literature and reading, but at the same time he is experiencing enormous difficulties with self-expression and social interactions. It cannot be said for sure that this is the result of his name, in the process of character formation a lot of factors take part, but the name plays an important role here.
This does not mean that you cannot choose a name that belonged to your relative or some famous historical person, but by calling that name, do not emphasize that the child should become the same and do not impose your expectations on it, let it live its fate .
Great Martyrs Names
The third, quite common mistake when choosing a name, is to focus on the church calendar. The church calendar or Holy calendar is a list according to which each date is the day of memory of a saint, most often on the day of his death.
This ancient tradition arose after the adoption of Orthodoxy in Russia, the priest chose a church name for a child by the date of his birth and gave it at baptism.During its existence, the calendar was regularly updated with new names; now the Orthodox Church celebrates the days of saints almost daily.
From the point of view of Christianity, a person who bears the name of a saint has a close connection with him, along with the name as if part of his power is transferred. At first glance, nothing bad - a saint who led a pious and righteous life, will now help a person and patronize him. But if you start reading the biographies of these saints, you will see that almost all of them were great martyrs with a difficult and tragic fate. The church puts it in the merit that to die in the name of faith is a great honor, but if you look at it without religious fanaticism, is it so? And are suffering the kind of life you would like for your children?
I have nothing against religious beliefs, but to keep sanity is always necessary, the choice of the name of the child according to the church calendar is a kind of shifting of responsibility. First, to the priest who chooses this name, and then to the saint who now supposedly must take care of the child.But outside the church there is a completely different, earthly life, where other laws reign. Every day we have to face many problems, why complicate the already difficult life with the repetition of the life of a Christian martyr, even a saint.
Every name has a meaning.
Each name has its own meaning; when choosing, be sure to read about its origin, find out its meaning and translation. Many names are borrowed from other languages, other cultures, their meaning and translation are a kind of reflection of the qualities that a person will possess. No matter how beautiful the chosen name may sound, its translation is much more important, because it carries specific information and it, one way or another, will determine its character.
Think about it, you would like the child to have these qualities, or it may be worth choosing other characteristics. Watch your emotional manifestations during pregnancy, they very objectively show you the character of the future child. His name should be a reflection of his temperament and inner innate qualities, and not your fantasies about how you would like to see him.Try to align what you feel with the meaning of the chosen name.
This approach is very common in Japan, where the name is assigned according to the qualities that the child shows from the moment of birth, that is, the name is their display. Very often parents create names on their own from the totality of all signs: time, place of birth, manifested qualities in behavior and appearance, therefore there is a huge amount of unique and unique names in the country.
Of course, our cultural environment is very different from the eastern, but in this approach there is a rational grain, when the character and the name ideally complement each other, there will be less contradictions in a person. Therefore, it may still be worth choosing a name for objective indicators and characteristics than for some invented ideals and stories of someone else’s life.
Well, lastly, I will tell you my story. Mom said that when I was born, it looked like a porcelain doll, all the hospital staff went to look at my skin. She was unusually white, which is not typical for newborns, usually, in the first days after birth, their skin remains pink.
I was born absolutely healthy, without any complications and pathologies, and nobody could explain such a white color of my skin. My father wanted to call me Snezhana, this name means “white as snow”, but my mother waited for the boy, whom she wanted to name in honor of Alexander the Great and was not going to put up with the fact that she had a girl.
I often thought about how my fate would be and how a beautiful female name would be reflected on my character, instead of the female form of the male name that I was called. Perhaps I would be a completely different person and my name would be more consistent with my natural qualities.
In any case, the choice of a name is yours, and what fate your children will live on, it will be their own choice - where to go, what to strive for, what to strive for. I just wrote about what the consequences might be if you make the most common mistakes. Remember the phrase from the cartoon "Captain Vrungel": whatever you call a yacht, so it will sail.Send your children on a great swim in the ocean of life with a good name.