How to answer the former?
In this article, we will look at several options for how to respond to an ex-boyfriend or man - depending on the situation in which you are:
- if the former wants to get you back, and you are free. At the same time, you may or may not want to return the relationship - we will talk more about the second case, since it is, of course, more difficult;
- if the former wants to return, but you have a new relationship that you do not want to interrupt - consider several behaviors;
- if the former is trying to insult you or somehow avenge you for parting. There are also options here, but a few effective tactics will help you solve everything quickly and correctly.
How to answer the former, being free
It all depends on how you feel about his proposal. If you do not mind, then there is nothing to comment on - just answer, as you see fit for the occasion, and everything will work out. But if you object, it is best to use soft language, do not offend and, moreover, do not insult him. Explain to him that you can remain friends - men do not like this passion.However, if his feelings for you are strong, then the young man may well take such a step. But be prepared that he will make new attempts to conquer you again. If you want to break everything once and for all, but the friendship option has not passed, explain that you cannot be together. In the end, say that you have another - only this option is better to use the latter, if all other normal arguments do not help. There is another option that is successfully used by those who want to solve everything completely without conflict. This way is silence. Just pretend that you are not. Of course not for him. He can write, call, even come, be silent and do not answer. True, this method is good when you have already explained, but he did not understand, otherwise it will turn out too cruel. Well, now let's talk about option number two.
How to answer the former, if you have a relationship
The best option is to solve everything without attracting your new love. We are not in kindergarten or school, especially since the person does not know about the seriousness of your new relationship. So show him your attitude to another. Explain that you love the other, that “you cannot command the heart,” and so on.An intelligent person will understand, but with an unwise one, you can try the option with silence - very often he is quite effective. If, however, will continue to pester, do not hesitate to tell your friends or relatives, and only as a last resort - a new young man. However, this is extreme, usually enough banal indifference and avoidance. In the extreme case - they are conducting an “explanatory conversation” friends, but without fanaticism - just strictly and calmly. And another thing - in any case, try to do without insults and screams. Very often, this behavior is taken for indifference, which thereby only stimulates a person to continue to fight. A much greater effect can be achieved by silence and indifference or by an even and calm attitude — perhaps even condescendingly amiable. And in this respect, your indifference (no matter, ostentatious or not) will be very justified.
What to answer the former guy if he is rude
You know, the most reasonable option here is to answer nothing. Virtually any of your answers will simply add fuel to the fire, and it will inflame even more. It is very difficult to hold back, but the principle here is different from the “right and left cheek,” which should be substituted in turn.Quite the contrary - your calm and indifference will disarm the former much faster than answers and excuses. Of course, it is possible and rudeness to respond to rudeness, but this method is better suited for "communication" between people of the same sex. When it comes to relations with the former, it is best to simply ignore such attacks. There is no reaction - a person is quickly bored. But if it inflames, well, then involve the public. Although, as practice shows, the flames do not last long. It is even possible in some cases to regret a person; for some, pity acts like a tub of cold water. Rough methods (retaliatory rudeness and insults) will suit a guy with a complex enough and weak will, but this is unlikely to be rude. Here, in fact, all the wisdom of communicating with the former. Yes, we have not raised the question of what to do when you have feelings for the former. In this case, you just need to decide: do you need this relationship again and act accordingly.